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    I got this ditty from an acquaintance who often denigrates those "computer fools" who call tech service at the drop of a hat.

    I have a different take on these matters. Read on and see what I mean. First is the "funny story" from some nameless tech support geek. Then comes my comment.

    Cheers!

     

      Tech Support: "What browser are you using, Netscape or Microsoft?"

      Customer: "Netscape."

      Tech Support: "Could you read to me what it says at the top of the window?"

      Customer: "'Global Travel Conference - Microsoft Internet Explorer'."

    The customer may have loaded Netscape on the computer - and actually thought that was the one he or she was using - unaware that the default browser was probably Explorer.

    ***

      Tech Support: "This has Windows 98 on it - did it have Windows 98 or 95 on it when it was sent out for repair?"

      Customer: "I think it had Office 97."

    Microsoft has done a wonderful job branding its products. So much so - in the customer's eye they're no longer separate programs but a conglomeration of interlocking modules. Plus - many people just use the programs that came pre-loaded with the computer and have no idea what the individual names are.

    ***

      Tech Support: "How much free space do you have on your hard drive?"

      Customer: "Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet, and she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?"

    Probably the customer was thinking of internet service - some companies charge on a hourly basis or have a set package plan for a specific number of hours. This is especially true with dial-up accounts.

    ***

      Customer: "I keep getting an error message whenever I try using the MSDOS mode in Windows 95."

      Tech Support: "Can you describe what happens?"

      Customer: "Well, I keep getting a black screen with an error message saying, 'C:\WINDOWS>'."

    Unless someone was familiar with DOS - in those dark ages before Windows - they expect the same look and feel. Any computer newbie wouldn't have a clue what an actual DOS based screen looked like.

    ***

      Tech Support: "Which drive is your CD ROM?"

      Customer: "The top one."

    Hey! A question was asked and a valid reply was given. It's the tech's fault for not being more specific.

    ***

      Customer: "Do I hit 'F' and '8' at the same time?"

    Now … imagine you're a computer novice. If someone asked you to hit F8 - the first thing you would think is "F 8" - not the function keys on the top.

    ***

      Tech Support: "Ok, let's try once more, but use lower case letters..."

      Customer: "Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard."

    And that's true. A keyboard only has upper case letters. Again - the tech support is assuming someone knows their way around a keyboard. Many actually don't. I still have problems with backslash and forward slash!

    ***

    So, gentle reader - it's not always a case of the customer being a dolt. Many times it's tech support themselves who are the problem. They work with computers the better part of their productive lives - day in and day out. Their customers don't.

    The Lesson Here?

    Never assume your client or customer is totally comfortable with the product you're selling or servicing. And never - ever- laugh at their misunderstandings. Because you might be a whiz kid boy wonder when it comes to computers - but if I sat you down in front of a leaking faucet and told you to fix it - you might just be Simple Simon personified.