The Dark Side Has Won

 

Well… ya know, I thought I’d heard just about every type of insanity this world has to offer. I thought I was jaded to the core and couldn’t be surprised at anything.

 

Well, allow me to tip my hat to the good teachers at Rushe Middle School in Land 'O Lakes, Florida. You have shown me the errors of my ways. I stand corrected.

 

Insanity is not only alive and well in western Florida, it’s taken up permanent residence at Mentmore Boulevard, home of the Ravens.

 

Now what could get me into such a lather, you wonder? What type of idiocy has happened yet again in our public school system that could get me off my feed and onto my computer keyboard?

 

Namely this: According to Channel 6 News, a substitute teacher in that hallowed hall of juvenile learning has been accused of…. WIZARDRY!

 

Ah, Shades of Harry Potter and the Chalice of Chicanery

 

What awful deeds of necromancy and voodoo did this heathen practitioner of the dark and malevolent arts perform that got the powers that be at Rushe Middle up in alarm?

 

What vile incantations did he mutter, what evil spells poured forth from his heinous lips, bringing doom and destruction upon his unwitting victims?

 

He made… now hold on to your copy of Malleus Maleficarum … he made a toothpick disappear and reappear!

 

Oh my! This spawn of the underworld must be in league with Lucifer himself!

 

Imagine the awesome powers he must possess – having the ungodly ability to transmutate and re-animate lifeless matter at will.

 

Think of the children! How they must have quaked in fear, shuddering at the fearsome power of the dark side, a power so immense, so all-encompassing that no tooth-pick will ever be seen in the same non-threatening light again.

 

Those poor, terrorized young ones – to be exposed to such horrors at such a tender age. I can only hope the good State of Florida will immediately send a horde of Grief Counselors to assuage the misery those children must now be experiencing.

 

WIZARDRY! Cry havoc – and let slip the Inquisition. Let the malefactor wear a scarlet letter of shame and ridicule, and may his days be filled with penance and supplications.

 

Good people, if this wasn’t the @!$% 21^st Century, I’d swear we were back in the Dark Ages, where conjurers and magicians could and would be burned at the stake for crimes against God and nature.

 

And you send your kids to public school to be educated? Naw… That’s not possible when the inmates are in charge of the asylum.

 

I’ll retire now to Bedlam.